Kenshin, your perfect matchmaker!
by Snowgirl and ChibiKitsune
Summary: Matchmaking is for old maids over the age of sixty who has at least 2 dead husbands in their graves? Says who?! With Sano and Megumi's spectacular (okay, peculiar) romance, their one and only hope is Himura Kenshin!
1. Pianos and Engagements

Author's Notes: Hello minna-san! (Newest update on the secrets of S.Girl: She eats toejam! Kidding. She'll probably kill me if that was true and I told everyone that. Obviously, as I'm still alive, she doesn't eat toejam. However…)

S.Girl: *pops out of nowhere*

C.Kitsune: *sticks her tongue out* (I hate it when she does that. I always have to stick my tongue out for show.)

S.Girl: HOHOHO! This is C.Kitsune's almost first ficcy all by herself! (I bet she'll fail miserably.)

C.Kitsune: *whack* Respect your elders, lady! I will never fail! HAHAHA! (If I fail miserably, everybody has to give me advice. Failing and failing miserably are different.)

S.Girl: *rubs head* Stupid. I'm older than you.

C.Kitsune: True. Respect your youngers, then! Hand over the money! (Dunno where that came from.)

Boss-sama: The show has to start now, else I'll get fired, and then I'll have to fire you, and then we'll probably all end up living on the streets, and I don't want that to happen, because the streets are cold, so--

S.Girl: *shoves Boss-sama down trash can* GO AWAY YOU BRAT!

C.Kitsune: Okay...that was weird. However, there's no time for that now. Now we start the story! Halleluiah!

Disclaimer: I know this may sound weird, but please, keep all toejam away from S.Girl. (Who knows what she might do with it…last time, I believe she tried to hatch a hair from her leg.) Also, none of these characters rightfully belong to me. They all belong to whoever created these animes. (I dunno anything. Don't blame it on me.) And once again…KEEP ALL TOEJAM AWAY FROM S.GIRL. Thank you, and have a nice reading.

***

Chapter 1: The Piano

***

*BANG, CLASH, BANG, CLASH*

            "WHAT IS THAT INFERNAL NOISE?!?!?!?!?!"

            Kaoru Kamiya, owner of the Kamiya dojo, grimaced, dropping the pot she was currently holding and covered her ears as broken sound waves floated about the room.

           "Ohayo, Kaoru-do-I mean-Kaoru!"

            Himura Kenshin flashed his beloved Kaoru a smile. They'd been 'an item' (By the way, everyone understands what 'an item' is right?) for quite some time now, and they were preparing to get married on Valentine's Day. (Not that Valentine's Day existed back then, but let's leave that out for now) Even so, it was awfully hard for Kenshin to get used to dropping the 'dono' on the end of Kaoru's name.

            "Oh. It's you."

            "Daijobu desu ka? You don't seem too happy. Usually you are very very very joyous when you see me."

            "I would be, except for that infernal noise."

*BANG, CLASH, BANG, CLASH*

            "See, there it goes again!"

            Kenshin smiled secretly to himself. He loved it when Kaoru was mad, because that meant he would get an opportunity to cook when she burned the food.

            "That is a piano."

            "Piano? Nani ga?"

            "A musical instrument."

            "If _that_ is what you call music, then I'm the Queen of France!" 

            "Good music requires practice."

            "Don't tell me that. If whoever if banging around back there needs to practice, then tell him/her to go outside!"

            "It's Sanosuke."

            "Is he drunk or something?! Sheesh. What a racket."

            "Actually, I believe he's doing his scales."

***At the piano seat

            "LALALALALALALALALALALA!"

            In truth, Sanosuke was quite drunk. 

            "Monkeys and peaches and sake! And sake and sake and sake!"

*BANG, CLASH*

            "Dough, ray, me, falalalalala!"

***Back in the kitchen

            "Somebody make him stop. Please."

            "He's practicing to serenade Megumi-san."

            "She's not going to be happy."

            "That's how they show their love for each other. Isn't it interesting?"

            "It's stupid."

            Kenshin put on a stupid smile. Kaoru just looked _so_ cute with that pout and veins popping out everywhere on her forehead. Unknowingly, he reached out and grabbed a vein.

            "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!"

            "Oops, sorry. I just love the cutie little vein!!!"

            Kaoru glared at him. She hated it when he did that. So, for revenge, she grabbed three strands of red hair and attempted to braid it. (Well, if she can't cook, what makes ya think she can braid?)

            "Kenshin, dearie, do me a favor please!!!" Kaoru asked with a pretty smile.

            Kenshin put on the stupid smile again. Kaoru just looked _so cute with that smile and those shining white teeth. Unknowingly, he reached out and grabbed a tooth._

            "AHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kenshin, my love, STOP DOING THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

            Kenshin stuck his tongue out at here.

            "Right, right, then. What is it you would like for me to do, my lady?"

            "Heh."

            And she whispered it to his ears.


	2. Kenshin the Matchmaker

Authors' Notes: We hope you guys liked the last installment…even though at this moment we only have ONE REVIEW!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!! (Ok, that was weird.) Anyway, please read and review! Or else! (FALALALALA! CHRISTMAS IS TEN MONTHS AWAY!! YAY!!!!!) Once again, please review!

C.Kitsune: Hello there minna! Welcome to the second edition of akira_yuki's newest fic!

S.Girl: *yawn* I'm soooooo sleepy…I dun wanna write this fic anymore. 

C.Kitsune: Hush. (S.Girl is cuckoo. Ignore her.)

S.Girl: I am so not cuckoo! No cuckoo person possesses the ability to read between your parenthesis!

C.Kitsune: Whatever. Anyway, this little authors' conversation thing is a little short this time, just cuz we're getting lazy…but have a good one!

S.Girl: A good nap? Mm…a good bowl of Chunky's soup…

C.Kitsune: Neither, you idiot. A good day and a good reading!

Disclaimer: You know, the usual. However, one more thing. Eat your Chunky soup before the expiration date, else S.Girl will come and try to take them from you to *ahem* _plant_ in her backyard. (She thinks they like grow roots or something…I dunno. She's just odd.)

***

Chapter 2: Kenshin the Matchmaker

***

            "I can't believe I'm actually doing this,"

            Kenshin dragged his feet along the path as he grumbled to himself.

            "I can't possibly be a matchmaker! This is awful….all for the sake of my marriage…"

            Kaoru had actually plotted for Kenshin to match-make Megumi and Sano. How INSANE was that?! Matchmakers were normally ladies with fifteen husbands, tons of makeup, and humongous butts. Kenshin had none of those things, and he didn't even want to _think_ about cross-dressing.

            However, after Kaoru threatened to divorce him if he didn't do this, Kenshin had very much so unwillingly lugged himself out doors to search for Sano.

            "Oy! Sano, where are you?!"

            Sano was still a little drunk, even after being thrown out of the house by Kaoru with a water pail.

            "Falalal—Oh. It's you. Join me for a drink, will ya?"

            Kenshin sighed. This was gonna be very very hard. Especially since it was nearly impossible to keep Sano sober.

            "Sano, we have to talk."

            "Well, come chug with me first."

            Sano had brought several jugs of sake with him, and was now chugging them like there was no tomorrow.

            "Sano, stop drinking! This is a highly important issue!"

            "Nothing, Ken-san, is more important that drinking!"

            "What about—"

            "Nothing, I say!"

            "WHAT ABOUT MEG—"

            "Nah-uh!"

            "Are you even listening? _What about Megumi?!_"

            "…"

            Sano's eyes suddenly turned very small and squinty, like he was concentrating on something. 

            "Well?" Kenshin was quite exasperated.

            "Oh, that." Sano paused for a moment, then continued. "I forgot."

            Kenshin almost fell over backwards.

            "You forgot?!"

            "Is there something so bad about that?"

            "She's the love of your life, and you forgot about her?!"

            "Well, I was gonna serenade her…'cept I forgot to practice and got drunk instead."

            "…"

            Kenshin groaned inwardly. How could any man on earth possible forget about his one true love?! This was just so messed up. He'd have to get help with his matchmaking. 

            Maybe Aoshi and Misao could help. They were newly-weds, they knew how to get a couple together. Maybe after talking with them, he could think up what to do.

***

At Aoshi and Misao's place

***

            Kenshin knocked on the door. No one came out to greet him. He knocked again. This time, there was a little muffling noise, and he could hear a screen door opening.

            "Aoshi? Misao? This is Kenshin! I need your help!"

            "Aiya, Ken-san, you don't need to call at such an early hour. Especially not when we're taking a shower!"

            Misao seemed a little pissed, but still, she came to open the door. Kenshin walked in to catch a glimpse of Misao and Aoshi cuddling, half-dressed.

            'GROSS!' Kenshin thought to himself. 'I should have brought Kaoru. Then we could compete. But now, since I'm by myself, I've gotta ignore all these stupid snuggling thingies.'

            "So, Himura, what did you want?"

            Aoshi, Misao in his arms, invited Kenshin in for tea.

            "You wanted to discuss something?"

            "Oh, yeah. It's about Sano and Megumi…"


End file.
